HEIL SUPER FRIENDS!
by Hazardus-Havard
Summary: Super Hitler has Super Awesome Adventures in Equestria!


Super Hitler pops up in Ponyville town square, scaring the shit out of all the ponies.

"Where are all the Jews?!" he screams out, wielding four barreled rocket launchers with attachable tomahawks. "They must be destroyed!"

A pony walks up to him, shivering in fright.

"W-what... what's a Jew?"

"...I'm truly home..."

It is said that Super Hitler cried tears of joy that day for hours on end.

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Super Hitler walks through town with the biggest smile he could give.

His Super moustache added +20 on suave.

"So Super Hitler, how's your day going?" Rarity asks him.

"Super fantastic, thank you for asking!" he says.

He quickly stops, digs into his pocket, and drops a few bits right on the ground.

Super Hitler looks left... then Super Hitler looks right…

"Super Hitler, why did you drop your bits?"

"Why, to see if there are any Jews here of course!"

"Super Hitler, no one's going to pick up your spare bits."

"What if I throw on more!" he says with a smile, dumping a pile of it everywhere.

All the ponies immediately came up, picked up his bits, and returned them to him.

Super Hitler shed a tear of joy right then.

"What a Super Wonderful Day it is!"

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Day Super Sad Day For Super Hitler.

Super Hitler was very sad today.

In his search to see how his version of a perfect person is in pony version, he met Blueblood.

Super Hitler was very disappointed seeing him.

"Super Hitler, why are you down in the dumps?" Fancy Pants asked him.

"I am sad because Blueblood is a Super Dick..."

"It is okay Super Hitler, no one likes Blueblood anyways."

"But he is supposed to be perfect with his blue eyes and blond hair! Why is he not Super like the rest of you?!"

"Not everyone can be perfect, Super Hitler."

Super Hitler learned a very important lesson that day.

Not everyone can be as Super as him.

He sent Celestia a friendship letter explaining exactly what happened on his not so Super day.

"Super Hitler has learned a very important lesson it seems," Celestia says as she drinks from her Super Chalice of Awesomeness with adorned swastikas.

"I am glad to see that sister," Luna says with a swastika flag flying on her crown.

"HEIL SUPER LESSONS!"

"And may Super Hitler learn many more."

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Super Hitler was walking through Ponyville one day while whistling a jaunty little tune when-

B-zap!

Another human is here in Equestria!

Oh no! What if it's a Jew! It must not touch the perfect world of the ponies!

Super Hitler makes a Super Dash at the human for a Super Body Slam!

But once Super Hitler saw who it was, his Super Body Slam immediately froze in air as he slowly floated down to his feet.

"It can't be!"

"Super Hitler! I thought I would never see you again!"

"Super Stalin!"

"It is good to see you again!"

"But... I thought you didn't like me Super Stalin..."

"Silly Super Hitler, we were always Super Friends!"

"R-really?"

"Super really!"

So Super Hitler and Super Stalin had many Super Adventures with the perfect world of Equestria

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"Come, Super Hitler! We must ride to the griffins for we must help their totally UNsuper day there!"

The griffins were having a totally UNsuper day because there was no potatoes over there, and griffins love potatoes.

"Very well Super Stalin, let us be off!"

Super Stalin jumps on Luna as Super Hitler rides Celestia like a Super-Baws.

"But wait Super Stalin! What about... him?"

"Oh no! I nearly forgot about our other new Super Friend!"

"Hehehehe, I'm totally digging this Super Taco right now."

"Super George Bush, hurry up and get on Cadance! We must not wait for the potatoes must be delivered to the griffins!"

"Oh noes! I Super forgot about that Super Friends!"

"It is alright Super George Bush, you are very slow in the head, so you are forgiven."

"Thank you Super Hitler, Super Stalin!"

Super George Bush jumps on Cadance backwards, grabbing her tail to steady himself.

"Let us be off!"

The three Super Friends made it in time to count all the potatoes just in time for the griffins so they could eat without worries that day.

"HEIL SUPER FRIENDS!"

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Day Superior In Equestria

Super Hitler is having a good day with his Super Best pony friends, Twilight and Rarity.

"Wow, Super Hitler! You sure like hanging out with us a lot!"

"Yes I do! Especially when you know how to pronounce that word correctly!"

"Don't you like hanging out with other ponies, Super Hitler?"

Super Hitler scoffs at that.

"The unicorns are OBVIOUSLY the Superior race here, so I like hanging out with only the most Superior of friends!"

"But Super Hitler, all ponies are important!" Twilight says. "Pegasi control the weather and the earth ponies do all the other work."

Super Hitler sits there in thought for a while, trying to understand this. He suddenly gets it, like it's something he never realized!

"I see it now! They do all the work!"

"Yes, they sure do help out with a lot of stuff!"

Super Hitler berates himself for the holocaust all of a sudden. Why didn't he just make all the Jews do all the work! Super Hitler feels bad now.

Super Hitler thanks them with a hearty Super Nazi salute and walks off. He was hungry though so he went to go buy apples from UNsuperior friend, Applejack.

"You sure do like apples alot, Super Hitler."

"And you sure like to pronounce that word wrong, Wrongjack. You best be wary, or the Alot Monster will come and get you!"

Super Hitler would have yelled at how UNsuperior Stupidjack is being right now, but after talking to his Super Superior Best Friends, he now sees you need just a little bit of UNsuperior to make others Superior.

It sure was a Super Superior Day.

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Day Super Hitler Is Super Homesick

"I am Super Homesick…"

All the ponies felt bad for Super Hitler. He was a Super Friend to them and they wanted to cheer him up.

Twilight Sparkle inquired Super Stalin and Super George Bush on how to help him.

"Swastikas always helped cheer him up!"

All the ponies waited until Super Hitler had a Super Sleep in his Super Pad for their plan.

The next day, Super Hitler woke up feeling Super Depressed.

"I am Super Depressed…"

Super Hitler walked outside and his Super-Scope Eagle Eyes were Super Surprised! There were swastikas everywhere!

Swastikas on poles, swastikas on every unicorn horn, and swastikas on every building in town! Little fillies were waving little swastika flags everywhere, singing about how happy they were not Jews. There was even a Super Huge Swastika of Superness in the middle of Ponyville!

"W-what is this?!" Super Hitler said Super Surprised.

"We wanted to make you feel at home here," Twilight Sparkle said," so we brought home to you!"

Super Hitler felt Super Happy right then.

"I am Super Happy!"

All of a sudden, Twilight Sparkle grew wings! She turned into an alicorn!

"You are not supposed to be alicorn Twilight, that is not Super at all! You abuse our day with your UNSUPERNESS!"

"I am Super Sorry, Super Hitler!" Twilight Sparkle said, turning back into a unicorn.

"Much better!"

It was a Super-Duper Super Hitler Feels At Home Day.


End file.
